Words from my Fingertips

11:38pm: God among other things...
Maybe God knows the things I don't in my life.

Or perhaps, as skepticism would have it, God is just a symbol for a need, a feeling, a hope/dream, a "great maker", an energy, Fate? I cannot answer these questions (and, I suspect, many others) but I keep them in mind.

It seems, based on novels and epic life stories, that a spiritual journey is exactly that: A Journey. A story that can be told about far off countries and the amazing people we have met in our lives. But not once is it ever about a kid just thinking on the whole concept of God and finding their own spirituality (or un-spirituality) in a simple leap of faith.

I am not a part of any organized religion or belief. Mainly because my beliefs aren't organized enough to fit into any one peg-and-hole combination. But I do know that my journey is very un-epic.

I think the spiritual road of finding one's self is very similar to the road of love.

In fact they are all one road, all the things we search for: faith, love, meaning, fulfillment, etc. And armed with the knowledge that I am still young, and answers don't just fall into one's lap, I still dream of having it all figured out.

Or, what's more, being able to say with confidence that I believe. Not necessarily in God, but in the world working out as it should, if there is an "as it should". I want to one day be able to say "I do" and really mean it for the rest of my life, or commit to a career and truly believe that it is my niche and I will succeed in it. I want to know that I've got life all figured out.

And have the doubts just be doubts and not nagging things that dig their fingers into my sense of direction.

I should have been born a bird. The sky would be my God, flight my lover, the air my meaning, my wings my rock, the earth my shelter and my shoulder...